Chuck Norris Special Post!!!

Ringraziando il carissimo Alberto per le fonti... ecco qua un pò di fantastici fatti/immagini sull'eroe di grandi e piccini (ma soprattutto di papà gino).... Chuck Norris!!!

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as Jack Bauer in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris won’t ever get a heart attack, because a heart knows better than to attack Chuck Norris.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris does not “teabag” the ladies. He “Potato-Sacks” them.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris isn’t afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

If you want to have meet and greet with Chuck Norris, just kneel down and pray….He will answer.

Chuck Norris created the giraffe he kicked a horse under his chin…

There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, shortly after they renamed them the Islands.

Chuck Norris once bones the Mona Lisa, which is why she smiles.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

Chuck Norris flosses with barbed wire.

Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.

Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

Chuck Norris drives Optimus Prime to work.

Chuck Norris once defeated a laser beam in a the hundred-meter dash.

Chuck Norris has two speed: walk and kill

Chuck Norris does not take shower, he takes blood baths

Chuck Norris invented the internet so people could talk about how great Chuck Norris is.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicist theorize that this contact would end the universe.

Chuck Norris is god, ...actually that comparison is an insult to Chuck Norris.